The Prelude

So, when I lost it with my 13 year old, it wasn't out of the blue. She has definitely been a child who has made me work for my mommy status. Don't get me wrong, she is loving, caring and empathic to a fault. Most times that is the root of the trouble she gets into. She does however, suffer from a selfish ego. She loves to help people, but at the same time, has no regard to how her actions affect others. So, with her we try to find the balance. We don't want to squash her giving spirit, but she needs to look outside herself as well. I have examples of both sides of her:
1. When she was 8 years old I had brought her to the local clinic to see her doctor for and illness. While there, she spotted a basket with stationary, envelopes and pens with a note asking people to drop a note to servicemen. She immediately jumped to the task and wrote a wonderful Thank You letter and signed her first name and age. The next week, that letter was copied and printed in the paper causing quite the commotion locally, declaring her selfless act for all to see. She demanded I contact the paper- not to give away her identity, but to ensure the letter was in fact sent to the troops, not published in the paper. (I did not contact the paper to conceal her identity).
2. She got caught stealing a friends pencils in the second grade. When the teacher confronted her about it, she said that she wanted the pencils because they were prettier then hers. She knew it was wrong. She knew it was stealing, but her urge to take those pencils out weighed her urge of self control.

Since that incident in second grade we have battled this selfish monster. She would hoard candy and food, steal any money that was laying around and take anything she thought should be hers, even though she knew she would get caught and have consequences. No threat would stop her. No punishment would stop her. I was raising a kleptomaniac. Other the years we tried punishments of hard labor, visits from a local police officer and taking away privileges. The latter is tougher as our
kids don't  have alot of the same privileges as other kids. (That's a whole other blog post)

So, the latest extreme "punishment" came a few months ago. I was putting our youngest child, age 4, to bed when I noticed the bottom was out of her piggy bank. When I questioned her about it she claimed "Sissy" needed a quarter. When I inspected what was left in the piggy bank I found only play money. Not a red flag as most of the kids money is kept in separate buckets downstairs out of their rooms. So, I asked Sissy about it and was told that she bet somebody at school 50cents about something and was a quarter short so she borrowed it. She answered so nonchalantly. So I asked where her $60 she had earned over the summer went. Then I started to get a run around and inconsistent answers and the "I'm Lying" look that she thinks I can't see. I sent her to bed and waited for dad to come home on his break. When he did, he suggested we look at the other tubs in the cupboard "just to see". I was absolutely floored when I opened her two younger siblings buckets to find them EMPTY. My heart sank. Not only had she betrayed her siblings and stole from small children, she lied about it.